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September 12, 2005
15th and Harrison
Last night I'm walking by Victrola's, this trendy café in Capitol Hill, and five out of six people sitting outside are on their cell phones.
That's 83.3%.
Out of curiosity, I ask Google to tell me what other things are “five out of six.” In 0.11 seconds, Google spits out 155,000 blurbs. Here are some*.
Garden stuff. Five out of six of Angel Lane’s herbs are still alive after she was away for two weeks. These are: mint, chives, sage, parsley and bay, which are “happy.” The author says, "The coriander and I never really got on so its demise is no great loss.”
Goals. Four years ago, Karn Matthews scored five out of six goals for the Oxford Blackbirds to beat Bullingdon in the "Oxford Mail Boys League Under 10B league." This brought his total to 27 that season.
Guilty execs. Five out of six finance guys in the first Enron trial were found guilty in November, 2004, according to OfftheKuff.com.
Insured. Five out of six Alabamians had health insurance earlier this year, according to an Associated Press story.
Spending. Five out of six Americans were expected to buy a holiday gift online, said Affiliate Marketing World last November.
Smart. Between 1990 and 1995, the Nobel prize went to someone from the University of Chicago five out of six times.
Independent. Six percent of rent-controlled tenants in Massachusetts were needy at one point, but five out of six didn’t go to cities for public assistance.
Going the distance. Last spring, Westchester County, N.Y., reported on its Web site that five out of six "stretch commutes" are made by workers in manufacturing, construction, professional, managerial or technical jobs. Quoting a study by the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, it said there were 3.3 million Americans traveling at least 50 miles one way to work, about one out of every 200 trips. Nearly three out of five long journeys were by people from households with annual incomes of $50,000 or more.
Shots. A site called GlobalSecurity.org says for some kind of weapon stuff a soldier has to adjust sights so “five out of six rounds fired in two consecutive shot-groups strike within the 4-centimeter circle on the 25-meter zero targets.”
Shady supermarkets. Undercover officers far from Seattle found that five out of six supermarkets in Suffolk were selling out-of-date-food. “As shoppers descend in their droves on Suffolk supermarkets to stock up for Christmas, the Evening Star can today reveal the shocking danger lurking on the shelves of big name brands."
*I didn't fact-check these. Sorry.
Posted by Dipika at September 12, 2005 5:43 PM
Comments
thats really funny. the deadpan style caught me by surprise - i didn't imagine you writing such a mcsweeney-esqye post. check out their lists at http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/. i think you should consider submitting it to them for online publication. i'd bet they'd pick it up. they should. the grocery store 5/6 is hilarious.
Posted by: robin at September 15, 2005 1:58 PM
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